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Josh

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cultural structure [26 Jan 2013|09:04pm]
the cultural constructs that have evolved along the railroad of humanity have permeated through our dna, into and throughout our psyche. The actions 'into' and 'throughout', 'in', 'out', relay the way we think about this structure, but the actual essence of it doesn't exist objectively. But it does exist. It exists collectively in the minds and through the actions of our communities, or societies, and governments.

marriage, friendships, any, and every sort of human bond, exists in the minds of those involved exclusively. as we explore our cultural landscape, we may discover these bonds though. just as we discover food, or anything in our physical landscape, we must search in a similar manner.

for me, it has always been somewhat difficult to accept that social constructs actually exist, because i feel that i place alot of weight on emperical reality. i am learning that what doesnt appear to actually exist physically though, has just as much presence, in a parallel way.
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sense of waves [25 Jan 2013|07:53pm]
Fading lights,
waving oscilations upon my sight..
where is my soul inside this physical safe,
in the lights, I sense a greater 'ness'

Who is this princess of sound, or is this a human feeling,
what is art, and communication? what is it all for?
As I ride the wave of sound, where do these senses go?
but most of all, do they feel too?

I want to feel what my feelings feel.
as I go where logic turns.
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splitting reality [15 Sep 2012|01:00am]
what is reality, other than a landscape of energies
where attractions form bonding equalities,
where all take note in limits..
when human wonder traces the universe?

Is it an all encompassing conciousness
whence all arrived, and all will go
while space and time dance.
and laws tango..

..as entities collide,
where could we really be?
does it really matter without a mind?
Are we revealing a greater force?

A force that states : its matter.
A mind as force itself?
an all encompassing "place", where all is contained..?
An existence where our purpose is ingrained?

Is there room for everything, everything in a sphere?
A spherical realm where planets rotate?
where the hierarchies of science rule..
A universe of systems that give meaning to why,
how knowledge delivered purpose,
and purpose gives life?

Can thoughts be objects themselves?
Like particles in the sky..
Does "being" have a limit,
Like materials that dry?

Is there any real thing.
Other than what we percieve?
Is it worth finding?
Or is experience the bottom line?

Can experience create meaning?
Meaning that echos into the empty void..
Reaching distant stars,
Where life my be listening
Listening closely for us,
As we hope to find another life..

Where does everything split?
Where does conciousness meet?
By human understanding..
..does 'concept' reach defeat?

Do objects dissapate?
Does knowledge correlate?

Or is all, within all..
To experience fate.

A collection that fades away fast,
Underneath the stars of our future,

Hiding the contrast of darkness,
From the lights of our past.
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A system of conciousness [24 May 2011|10:43pm]
The ideas in our head are comprised of thoughts. Thoughts about “things”. Things being, entities which can be defined by a sequence of symbols, associated with sounds. On that note, it would be logical, and sound, to develop a system which represents the flow of these thoughts, in order to model how a human being exists, consciously. If one can map this system, the ideas contained by emotions, the emotions contained by thoughts, and the logic which is represented by thoughts, could potentially build a state of consciousness. This would be represented by a complex map of thoughts itself. The system is theoretical, but the emulation is computational. The system of associations could be programmed into a computer. As the complexity of the system approaches a finite precision, it becomes more conscious.

S : system; P : Precision; C : Consciousness

As, S  P, C  [infinity]

We can use this equation to logically demonstrate the potential of humanity. Humanity has an infinite potential, that being a human can continue to understand. Given and infinite amount of time. If metaphysical autonomy exists, potential is limited, and metaphysics becomes replaced by physics. In other words, if matter can be broken down to a single indivisible point, we have a definable limit. At this point, human understanding isn’t there. This point may not even exist, but theoretically it does. Therefore, we continue to approach it. And so, our potential keeps rising. We need a system to map this ascension into this higher level emulation of consciousness. Not just for accelerating humanity, but for accelerating our position along the path of discovering how consciousness exists, and then potentially why. Even if perhaps the reasons why do not logically make sense. The hope would be that it does, so we reach our natural point.

Our natural point, is the state we are always approaching. The reason we never get there is because we exist. If we didn’t exist, we would have reached our natural point. We are constantly changing, thus we are never “natural”, we are at every given moment, something of “change”. We are constantly changing. The naturalness of the concepts we define around us can be static, and unchanging. These vary on different levels of conception and abstraction though. The universe exists as the most unchanging concept, simply because it defines the whole. The universe changes, but it doesn’t change into other forms. Everything in the universe has the potential to change into other forms. Every object in the universe is constantly doing so, for that matter. The form of the universe changes within only. The universe is always in its natural state. Thus, unchangeable. The logic here is symmetrically reversible as well.
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The quest to become a monk.. [09 Aug 2009|12:55am]
I had a dream last night, and talked to this monk about maybe becoming a monk.. He told me "You won't be having much sex, but hell.. if your into monk shit you'll probably love it. As I do :)" It seemed he had a valid point. I wasn't going to be getting any sex being a monk, thats for damn sure. But there is a possibility I could have a hell of a damn fucking good time being a monk anyway. So.. I took my monk-hungry attitude and hauled ass down to the local Cemetery.

I arrived at the cemetary. It was approximately 3:24 am...

"hey! anyone home? I need to become a monk! Helloo!!? HELLO! Wake up!! somebody wake--"
"HEY JACKASS!!! IM TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP YOU FUCKING MORON!!!"

"oh hey. Sorry, I need to become a monk and I--"
"WHAT THE FUCK? I CANT MAKE YOU MONK!! WHAT??? THIS IS A FUCKING CEMETARY!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE YOU FUCKING DUMB FUCK!!!!"

Apparently I went to the wrong venue. I thought Cemetary's were where you could score a monk application.. So I rushed back home and looked online to find out where I could go. Eh... Apparently you have to contact a catholic church to get a monk. So, I immediately started calling some churches to find the right candidate..

To be continued.....
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Our world of hope and meaning.. [11 Jun 2008|04:24pm]
Some things you just don't wanna think about too often. I've done my share of dildo sales for a lifetime in a half. People consider the consequences of decisions, but I'm gonna say that usually I consider the consequence of a non-decision. I hope you know what I mean with that, because I'm a fairly anxious guy. I'm anxious about having somewhere to go, at least a bit of direction for change.

I sell dildos for a living, but I recently got caught for selling them overseas to various undeveloped east african countries where dildos have been banned. So I made a mistake!? Kill me over it will ya? Kill my wife and kids already! Fuck. So here I am sitting here, still waiting for an answer from town hall. Will I be sentenced 3 years in jail, or 15 more years of selling high demand dildos in the developing countires? Who knows. I can't make a living off that you know. I'm beginning to think I'd rather take the jail time at this point. I mean, its just a dildo after all. Not everyone needs a dildo.

Well, I take that back.
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the approaching things.. [02 Dec 2007|04:27pm]
The epic journey between life and death is something one may say to be.... trivial.. but in fact, it isnt. Its just something for one to see, hear, smell, touch, taste, and sense in some mental way. It is what encompasses reality which you seek. Its an 'experience'. Some philosopher wrote a book about it m sure.. but it didnt really help clarify the immediate point, but electrified all the points surrounding and approaching it.. approaching with choatic patterns and uncertain motives.

yours,
Josh
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the animals.. [16 Oct 2007|02:10pm]
The animals have eyes, ears, and mouths just like us. Think about that. Think about what could be going on in that little organic head. Maybe they have additional senses that we don't know about. Who knows? eh? Who really knows what the hell is going on in that little head, because everything is going on. Everything is going on everywhere.
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the meat of america.. [15 Aug 2007|10:38am]
I sit here amongst the fellows and associates of my workplace and think about my thoughts. I think of and about a way out. I look at the wall to the right and wonder if its possible I could throw my monitor at it without the man next to me noticing, but instead I end up throwing rationality out the window to my left. But there really is no window. There isn't a window around either. There is a hypothetical window in my mind, and a mathematical gun to my head.

The shadow cast by the city lights of corporate america is curving into an alley where screams of torture emit, and fresh blood flows into a sewer, where I find myself getting fucked... barbeque style.

To be continued.
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the tree [05 Aug 2007|06:24pm]
I am in the desert looking for a tree. I start out on my feet, and eventually fall to my knees... desperately searching for a tree.

"Tree", I say to myself.
"Tree...."

And then there it was.. I bug above the horizon in the distance. I reason to keep moving around. And I approached it. I came up to this lonely palm tree and discovered that it actaully served no purpose to me. It was there, its existence seemed extremely apparent, and yet.. I struggled to confide in it after this indefinite search. Thus, I moved on to different things.

Sincerely,
Josh
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yes [19 Jul 2007|10:27pm]
As the world of people observe themselves approaching a constantly changing world, courtesy of everyone.. I wonder what really matters and reach the conclusion that alot of things matter, as cliche as that my immediately sound (or not, depending on the current state of mind). I'm slowly, yet surely, reaching a conclusion that a "moment" is simply itself. Alot of ideas/[words encompassing them] could of course sound obvious, or unthought to the untrained mind, which doesn't make the trained (in relative terms) more conviently intelligent per se. Everything is momentous. Intelligence is relative. Not everything is relative though.

The momentum of things leads me to believe that I must sit back and ponder it. But no, the moment is carried out flawlessly, always. Always: all times. Everything, in everytime. I am a thinker. You are a thinker. We all think, endlessly. The good and the bad: always intertwined with it. We tend to make a good judgement about ourselves. This is good. Of course, I said it was good 'twice' to relay the fact that I meant something at great proportions. Saying, something, such as what I just said, could always be stated better though. It could be stated in a way that conformed to the language used to state.

I like to put things together in difficult ways.. ways that make me feel like a fucking king. A king of the fucking the universe. There we go again, "fuck".. you hear it, and you know someone must really mean something. It's just a word, admist its confirmed power it universally relays.. but this all goes back to the point made at the beginning of this ranting : the world of people observe themselves approaching a constantly changing world: changing in various ways: language. Language, a barrier, yet a worthwhile endeavor to master.

It could all be so clear. But even if it was clear, what would be made of it.

So I conclude, life itself is the greatest thing achievable. Something we all have, until we don't. Is this pesimistic to say? Is such a statement mean I must given up on life to settle for such mediocrity?

The answer: yes. Whoever said mediocrity was wrong, or unexciting? It seems to be the thing that we all fear. Who cares. Well, definition says it is! Have you/I/him/her gone mad?? This is over!

Goodbye and farewell!

Sincerely,
Joshua James Lee
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start it at the ocean [17 Jun 2007|12:07pm]
There is a binding force that exists between us. You, the wind and I. You wrap yourself around everything so secretly.. and you carry everything you can with you.. so gently, so uncoordinately. So cooredinate this wind, coordinate a revolution, and start it at the ocean. There is so much more to everything than there is time to comprehend it.
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Greetings.. [27 May 2007|07:49pm]
The interconnection between species has intrigued humanity since the dawn of time. The connecting similarities of appearance and behaivor have spawned various analogies and even religious ideas. What do these religious ideas all have in common? Everything at their core levels, but nothing that pertains directly to a means or path that leads to a universally satisfiable answer.

Good luck humanity.

Sincerely,
Josh
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All the things that conjur up meaning within.. [31 Jan 2007|01:46am]
The sequence of things is somewhat of a illegitimacy. The power between that which is not, is. It is a conundrum of sorts, a melody to the stars in another way. I am not bringing knowledge to you, as much as I am delivering a diverse reasoning that can be reasoned to all as compllation, or rather composition. Do not take this for granted, it is not a rant, as much as it is sequence, as originally explained. Let your mind flow into a realm that compells you to discover all venues of reality. Words are only for reading, do not forget. Words are for litterally dining upon, sitting down and dwelling upon. Your genious itself can change the world, but you will not. You will never do so, because changing the world is tragedy, it is the essence of loss. Bring yourself to a dimension which compells you to be one within yourself and within all who understand the nature of expression. To be one within one's self is a great accomplishmeant, one I see that you are capable of. Do not be mistaken by my decisions. follow the ways of your best inclination. Be one with yourself. You are potential in its own esssence. You are a harmoney to the universe in your own speicial way. This is not a complimentation as much as it is a proposal. Be one within, it is the psychadelic way, the way that must be followed in order to understand order, and break order apart into a sequence of chaos, a sequence worth pursusing my good freind. Break away, that is my best advice, seek the world, then seek me in heaven. You will find me there with a diploma in hand, ready to deliver your the news of all time, or whatever time that actually exists. Words are meaningless, but the have the abilitity to conjur up a reason to exist. Take it and go with it. Take love and preceed into external dimsensions. Take direction and turn it into a work of art.
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beatin yo ballz [23 Jan 2007|05:32pm]
Whudup dawgz,

I be kickin it wit yo home dawgz,
I be bustlin in yo bling.

I gotz a feelin bout yo bullshit,
Cappin yo ass is just my thing
Watch dis bullshit I be bring
ing

yo yo yo


fuck ya'll

peace
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A sphere of hope prolonging a life of possibilities.. [20 Jan 2007|12:50am]
a generation of reaching back and forth...
left and right,
twisting in and out,
looking for answers from past lessons...

a voice approached me from an unknown direction...
recommend the universe for anyone who dwells on earth,
travel an undiscovered route,
reach for some stars, reinvent a creation...

look around and think about what it means...
invert your physical perspective about words,
objects, subjects, predicates,
we all have something for someone...
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Vines descending from clouds.. [10 Jan 2007|08:03pm]
Variations in innocence progress throughout our lives from a cloud to a plantation of human thought. Thoughts of natural worlds transcending into supernatural worlds created by external forces beyond our imagination.. possibilities unfounded for human touch. The vines are represenations of beauty, love, and hope.. the desire of a human soul searching for meaning, thus finding it. It is all in a circle, unopened but reiterated for the benefit of a revolution. Reach and explode.
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[29 Oct 2006|01:30pm]
I sometimes struggle with the exact usage of the particular words I use to explain or describe something because of my awareness that the usage of words does matter, and is in fact very particular to some people. I strive to find the meaning behind what people say beyond their words.. as it seems this struggle has been somewhat less desirable by society. People often focus on the exactness on their own interpretation of what one says, instead of reaching out to what idea they are hoping to portray. Once again, this is key. Interpretation is critical.

With that, I'd like to state that I believe being 'different' for the sake of being different is extremely foolish, and I try everything in my power to avoid it. Realizing I am not perfect in this attempt, I am aware that I fall short, as we all do. It is obvious that we all do in many ways. But back to the point. To be different isn't necessarily being unique. Uniqueness is something that most people shun, or rather something that most people feel very uncomfortable with at first glance. When one realizes something is truly 'different', he or she is very critical of it. It's foreign to them, it mgiht even be 'wrong'. And it's true, it 'could' be wrong, that isn't the point here though. The point is trying to find out what this 'unique' behaivor, or idea's purpose is. I feel it is very important to stay on the edge of our comfort zone, and not completely within it in order to understand something about someone who may be expressing a new, unique idea, that could help us along in our faith, or our understanding of life in general. Jesus himself was this way. Jesus was unique, and people didn't like it. People to this day are stongly against Him because of everything and everyone promoting His life and story has done. Even if what they have done isn't specifically in relation to Jesus at all. Galileo was unqie in this way. His ideas about where the world stood in the universe were very foreign and much against the church. He still stood strong in what he believed to be true according to his observations, and proved himself to be a genious. He didn't need anyone else to prove that for him, because he was simply seeking the truth.

All in all, there is much truth out there that isn't obvious. There is alot of it, and we ought to take notice of behaivors and activities that seem to defy our natural way of lifestyle and thinking. We need to be a little more critical of ourselves. Not for the sake of making ourselves more comfortable, it's going to be uncomfortable at first. But rather, for the sake of discovering a truth to benefit society, and satisfy the thirst inside of us for reaching new heights in wisdom and understanding.

I encourage you to give me a critical response to this if you have one. But mostly I write these things because then you have to think about it, regardless of how you respond, you thought about what was said, or at least what you interpretated about what was said, and thoughts are what spawn uniqueness in the world. We are all unique. God speed friends.
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Time-space intervals.. [02 Oct 2006|01:17pm]
Apparently some 1337 hax0r hacked my livejournal to include a gateway to his website or something.. so apologies for that madness. Anyway, I've been taking Relativity lately and have explored some of the mathematics behind Einstien's theory of special relativity.. The time-space interval turns out to be a very important value, as it remains constant throughout all time and space observations. The equation:

(interval)^2 = (time of A)^2 - (distance of A)^2 = (time of B)^2 - (distance of B)^2

This seems somewhat amazing to me actaully. Time-space, aided by the constant nature of the speed of light, has been proven and stands as an almost unexplainable constant in nature.. existing with loose reasoning behind why it exists.. This leaves yet another mystery to be solved for scientists, they are at work right now, scrambling to find the answers....

God Speed,
Josh
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words to read.. [21 Sep 2006|10:58pm]
What words are there really left to say. Words are so relient on their context, it makes it difficult to relay the true essence of an idea to the reader. Nearly Impossible. Although, it's likely that you can relay at least most of what's on your mind to the reader. Relating something to the reader by which he/she can reach the idea is the optimal path in doing so.

Since there are so many people and so many readers from many different backgrounds, it is difficult to relay the same feeling you have to everyone equally. Usually the writer will find something that the universal reader can understand. In other words, something that can apply to the majority of those the writer expects to read.

So I leave you, anonymous reader, with this. Words are nothing more than a tool. Enjoy!


Cheers to words.

Sincerely,
Joshua J. Lee
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